"Baby, you should go into boxing because
you are a knockout!"
"Mm mm mm, you with so many curves and
me with no breaks."
When a girl is walking away, call her back.
When she comes back say, "I just wanted to see you walk away again."
"That dress would look great on the floor
next to my bed."
"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"
"You have some nice jewellery. It would
look good on my nightstand."
"Chicks dig me - I wear coloured underwear!"
Look at the tag on her shirt and say "I
wanted to see if you were really made in heaven."
"If I gave you neglige for my birthday,
would there be anything in it for me?"
"That's a nice shirt - can I talk you
out of it?"
"Did you clean your pants with Windex?
I can practically see myself in them."
"Do I know you from somewhere - or is
it just that you have your clothes on?"
"Hi, I'm conducting a feel test of how
many women have pierced nipples."
"Do you like jewels? Well suck my cock
it's a gem!"
She: "What do you think of this dress/top/skirt?"
He: "I like nothing better!"
"What do like for breakfast?"
"Can I buy you a drink, or would you
just like the money?"
"Would you like a gin & platonic
or do you prefer scotch & sofa?"
"Hey, how about pizza & a fuck?"
"What, don't you like pizza?"
"Would you like to have morning coffee
with me?"
"Lets do breakfast tomorrow. Should I
call you or nudge you?"
"Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?"
"I don't look like much now, I'm drinking
milk."
"I've had quite a bit to drink tonight
& you're beginning to look pretty good!"
"I've got a thirst baby, and you smell
like Gatorade!"
"Do you like chicken? Suck this, it's
foul!"
"Do you know the difference between hamburgers
and head jobs?" "No? Let's do lunch then!"
Hand out cards saying: "Smile if you
want to sleep with me" and watch them hold back their laughter.
At the photocopier: "Reproducing hey?
Can I help?"
Motion with your finger for the girl to come
over. When she does say "I knew if I fingered you enough you'd come!"
Woman: "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
Man: "Do you have the energy?"
Woman: "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
Man: "Do you have the place in mind?"
When she asks for a match: "My penis,
your vagina."
Walk over to a ladies table, take your dick
out & say "Hey Charlie, anyone here you recognise?"
"Stand back, I'm a doctor! You get an
ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes!"
Holding out fingers: "Why should women
masturbate with these fingers?" "Because they're mine!"
"Hi, my name is {name}. How do you like
me so far?"
"You look like a girl who has heard every
single line in the book - so what's one more!"
"Bond. James Bond."
"Excuse me, are you ready to go home
yet?"
"Hi, I make more money than you can spend."
"Hi, can I buy you a car?"
"I'm new in town, can you give me directions
to your apartment?"
"Was your father a thief? Because someone
stole the stars from the sky & put them in your eyes."
"Was you father an alien? Because there's
nothing else like you on earth!"
"You know what I like about you?"
"My arms."
"If you were a tear in my eye, I would
not cry for fear of losing you."
"I know this is going to sound like a
line, but did that sound like a line? Are you disappointed?"
"Who's a nice girl doing in a place like
this?"
"Do you have a 40 cents?" "Too
bad, because I need to call my mother and tell her I just found the woman
of my dreams."
"Do you have a map?" "I just
keep on getting lost in your eyes."
"Are you religious? Good, because I'm
the answer to your prayers."
"Did it hurt?" "When you fell
from heaven?"
E"Inheriting eighty million dollars doesn't
mean much when you have a weak heart."
"Excuse me, do you live around here often?"
"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash.
Mind if we shared a cab home together?"
"What's your sign?"
"Hi, the voices in my head told me to
come and talk to you."
"What was that?" "That sound?"
"The sound of my heart breaking?"
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd
put U & I together."
"I lost my phone number. Can I borrow
yours?"
"I was sitting here holding my cigarette
when I realised I'd rather be holding you."
"If your parents hadn't met, I'd be a
very unhappy man right now."
"I feel like Richard Gere, standing here
next to you, the Pretty Woman"
"Sorry, I thought you were someone else,
by the way, here's my card."
"Say, didn't we go to different schools
together?"
"Drop 'em"
"Would you like to dance or should I
go fuck myself again?"
"Hey baby, let's make some babies!"
"I think we have to make love like crazed
weasels on the front lawn NOW!"
"Hey babe, can you suck a golf ball through
50 feet of garden hose?"
"Hey babe, can you suck start a Harley?
"Hey babe, wanna get lucky?"
To a mother: "Hey mother - want another?"
To a mother: "What is your favourite
position on extramarital sex?"
"Your place or mine?"
"Your place or the mens bathroom?"
"Your face or mine?"
"If I told you that you had a great body,
would you hold it against me?"
"If I told you that you had an ugly body,
would you hold it against me?"
"Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?"
"I love you. I want to marry you. Now
let's fuck."
"Forget that. Playing doctor is for kids,
lets play gynaecologist!"
"Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face
and I guess how much you weigh."
"I wanna floss with your pubic hair!"
"I'm on fire, can I run through your
sprinkler?"
"I'd look good on you!"
"Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?"
"I'd give you a piece of my mind, but
I have more of something else."
"I would kill or die to make love to
you!"
"Sex is a killer... Want to die happy?"
"I love every bone in your body, especially
mine."
"Now Bitch!"
"Fancy a fuck?"
"My face is leaving in 10 minutes - be
on it!"
"Should I call you in the morning or
nudge you?"
"I'm aboriginal. Do you have any aboriginal
in you?" "Would you like some?"
"I think you are the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen... on a Wednesday!"
"How did you acheive such a gaudy effect
with only Avon cosmetics?"
"You're ugly, but you interest me."
"Do you beleive in one night stands?"
"With one touch I can make you make noise
only dogs can hear!"
"I'm leaving this place - want to Cum?"
"Why, you've got the whitest teeth I'd
ever want to cum across!"
"Free mammograms, get your free mammograms
here! Get them while they're hot!"
"Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when
you want a manfriend, come and talk to me!"
"You've got nice breasts, but are your
nipples brown or pink?"
"Is it cold outside, or are you just
smuggling tic-tacs?"
"Pardon me, but I was about to go home
and masturbate, and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about
you."
"Sit on my lap and well talk about the
first thing that pops up!"
"Sit on my lap and lets get things straight
between us."
"You smell wet - let's Party!"
"Pardon me miss, but I couldn't help
noticing that you have cum in your hair."
"Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat
chick!"
"Miss, if you've lost your virginity,
canI have the box it came in?"
"I saw you at the party last weekend,
and you look kind of interesting... Let's meet sometime..."
"No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for
$50?"
"You have the ass of a great artist."
"Let's take a shower together - you smell."
"If I was Elvis, would you screw me?"
"Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted
to sleep with me? I thought you knew?" 129 "Cold out isn't it?"
(Staring at breasts)
"Hey... Somebody farted - lets get out
of here!"
"I need your help. I must expel some
seminal fluid. May I use your body?"
"Do you know, your hair and my pillow
are perfectly color coordinated?"
"Do you sleep on your front?" "Do
you mind if I do?"
"Do you want to go halves in a baby?"
"Ever played leap frog naked?"
"I'll bet you ten bucks I could get all
your clothes off in 30 seconds"
"Since we shouldn't waste this day &
age, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire?"
"Would you like to see me naked?"
"Anything drugs can do, I can do with
my tongue!"
"Either way, I'm going to have you tonight,
so you might as well be there."
"Wanna go halves in a bastard?"
"Do you know the essential difference
between sex and conversation?" "Do you want to go upstairs and
talk?"
"Sit on my face and let me get to nose
you better!"
"Excuse me, do you beleive in love at
first sight or do I have to walk past you again?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong but you want to
fuck me don't you?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong but you want to
kiss me?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong but isn't you're
name Gretchen?"
"Hello Susie, your mummy couldn't make
it this afternoon. She asked me to pick you up and take you home. My that's
a pretty dress..."
"I'm really sorry about Al. It was a
lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black, did you know that? What you
need now is a nice back rub. Are the straps too tight darling? How very,
very tragic."
"Do you want to see something swell?"
"Hey babe, do you know my mouth can generate
over 750 psi?"
"Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should
I apologise?"
"Wanna fuck like bunnies?
Follow these instructions: 1. Make sure that
you are in front of the person you are trying to attract. 2. Put your hands
in a vertical plane and seperate your hands to the desired distance. 3.
Look at the person of your affections with a shit eating, ear to ear grin.
Shake your head up and down as to reply that you're this big.
"What would you do if I kissed you right
now?"
"Take an icecube to the bar, smash it
and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
"I'm single!"
"Would you like to see my boa constrictor?"
"I'm drunk."
"Would you like to come and party in
my toolshed?"
"Will you marry me and have my children?"
"You know, I'd really like to fuck your
brains out, but it seems somebody beat me to it!"
To someone just out of the shower: "Can
I borrow your towel?"
"I've got an itch. Lower. Lower."
"If you want me, don't wake me, or shake
me, just take me."
"Hi, I'm a flight steward."
"May I please rest my head on your shoulder?"
Hold up a vibrator: "Do you know how
to use one of these?"
"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but haven't we
met before?"
"I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't
want to have sex without mutual consent; Oh and by the way, you have my
consent."
"I'm sure you didn't mean to turn me
on with your big ass, but it's too late now!"
"Hi, I'm taking a survey. Do you spit
or swallow?"
"I think I'm falling in love with you.
Now do you want to fuck?"
"I haven't seen you in a while, you sure
look different without my dick in your mouth."
"Hi. My name's Campbell. You'll be screaming
that later."
"What winks and fucks like a tiger?"
(said while winking)
"What are you drinking?" ("_______")
"Wanna screw?"
